Mom had been suffering
from Parkinson's Disease with it's accompanying form of dementia for quite some time, and was on Hospice care. Visits weren't always all they could be, so it was nothing short of a miracle when an impromptu visit from her sister Sharon, and cousin Jill found mom alert and aware. They had a truly amazing heart-to-heart, creating an afternoon to be long cherished. It wasn't long after, that we got the call that her time was short. She passed away quietly on a Sunday evening, and Kathy was with her. My brother Scott and I joined Kathy soon after, where together we were able to tell dad. 
He'd been living at home until just a few months before, but a couple of small kitchen fires on his stove top, along with worsening eyesight convinced us that it was time to re-think his situation. So after checking out assisted living communities in the area, he made the move to an apartment on the north side of Spokane. Simple pleasures, such as lunch and a haircut with his buddy Larry, or spending quiet afternoons with mom were the things that he looked forward to. Less than two weeks after mom died, he fell during lunch, breaking his leg. It seemed that he had sincerely lost any will to carry on, and was never really himself again. He joined mom a few days later. Thinking of them together, clear minded, and free from the aches and pains of the world, truly warms the heart.
Although the span of time between their passing was short, the August days continued, filled with everyday happenings. The long awaited solar eclipse, complete with it's path of totality passed though Oregon, Hurricane Harvey set a rainfall record in Texas, and Massachusetts was home to the largest ever lottery jackpot. A cruise to Alaska, planned for my mother-in-law was on the calendar as well. Despite looking forward to the trip, I was a little anxious, concerned that being preoccupied with my own family stuff might cause me to be a distraction to the long planned adventure.
A cruise ship devoid of television, internet, and cell phones became an unexpected therapy of sorts. The beauty of Alaska surrounded us, inspiring a backdrop that was the icing on the cake. Simple, relaxing days transformed the week into a calming and meaningful respite, a "vacation from my problems" so to speak.
Of course there was no way of knowing that four days after getting back home, dad would be gone as well.
We had an amazing double memorial for them, which took little to no effort on our part, as they had planned their "end of life" celebrations years before. Mom had envisioned a little church memorial, while Dad's preference leaned toward the idea of throwing a pizza party for all his friends . . . complete with Creedence Clearwater Revival, of course. We were able to carry out both of their wishes, having the memorial at the Peaceful Valley Church in Elk, after which all were invited to the Pizza Factory in Deer Park where we ended up ordering 19 large pizzas, and spending the rest of the day. We brought a playlist and Bluetooth speaker full of the music that he loved. The pizza place was full of family, friends, and the memories of our parents, who had been married just shy of 60 years. It couldn't have been more wonderful. 
Saying good bye to them together was kind of natural in a quirky kind of way. It just felt right. We thumbed through old pictures, creating a slide show montage that spanned their 80 years of life. Kathy and I sang a song, and Scott related fun and endearing memories, creating a treasure trove of recollection and nostalgia. I had written stories for them for a Mother's Day and Father's Day, and had the opportunity to share those as well. We completed the weekend, as per their wishes, with the scattering of ashes on the back forty and the planting of a tree in their memory.
The smell of dry pine needles and hay fields flooded my senses, transporting me straight back to 1974, and the days where we learned to drive the old jeep in those fields. They say that the sense of smell is closely linked to memory, and are actually intertwined. I'm not surprised. 
Our farm on Eloika Lake Road, painted by our friend and neighbor, Sylvia Brummett
Such a heartfelt commemoration of your parents and what they meant to eachother and to the children as well. CLEERWATER REVIVAL!!! RIGHT ON FOR ME ESPECIALLY IN THE EARLY 1970'S.
ReplyDelete