The anticipation of motherhood was so very exciting for me. Back in the day, ultrasounds were available, but only performed in extreme cases where the health of the baby was in question, so we mothers-to-be were genuinely surprised to learn the gender of our child after they were born. I am pretty sure that we were also the first generation to have the fathers-to-be present as well. So after months of anticipation, I gave birth to a perfect little girl who would forever be known as Brigette. It was 1980, the dawn of a new decade, and the beginning of a whole new life.
People will tell you that having a baby is life changing. Truer words were never spoken, and give clarity to the phrase, "you don't know what you don't know." Everything in life now revolves around this tiny human being that does nothing but eat, sleep, cry, and need diaper changing . . . only to be repeated around the clock. Fortunately, this stage doesn't last forever, and soon we were watching Brigette progress from one stage to the next. Everything was new for her, seeing and experiencing everything for the first time. We read parenting books, not only to make sure that we were doing things properly, but to make sure that our baby was on track as she should be, observing the playful, childlike understanding of life, one step at time. Everything with Brigette was perfect and by the book.
As she grew from toddler to little girl, she began to display a variety of unusual traits that seemed to contrast with those of being a youngster. Something about her seemed out of place somehow. Instead of being simplistic, she was perceptive and complex. Instead of being childish and silly, she was actually overly sensible. It seemed that instead of being young at heart, she was unmistakably old. Brigette didn't seem interested in the conversation, drama, and other things relating to kids her own age. While most Christmas lists included toys and candy, Brigette wanted books . . . and not little kid books, she wanted a dictionary and reference type books. She loved reading about history and was the only third grader reading Gone With the Wind. It wasn't long before her authors of choice were Charles Dickens and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Baby Sitter Club books never found a place on Brigette's bookshelf. While other girls were pretending to be She-Ra, Princess of Power, she preferred Laura Ingalls. Christmas and Valentine candy was saved, not eaten, and porcelain dolls lined her room and there they remained, immaculately untouched.
When it came time for her fourth grade Science Fair project, Brigette had the idea of making soap, just like in the old days. It sounded like a good idea, and it was, in theory. "The Science of Soap", how difficult could that be? The project called for olive oil, but that wasn't authentic. Pioneers used beef tallow. Of course they did, silly me! Finding 6 quarts of beef tallow is not an easy task and it isn't readily available at a store near you. We contacted a butcher shop and were able to buy enough suet for the project. Before long we were actually rendering suet in our kitchen. I finally put my foot down when she informed me that the next step was to leach lye from ashes. Although not quite up to her standards, what with being tainted with store-bought lye, the project turned out quite nicely and was uniquely Brigette. It also gave me a whole new appreciation for the soap aisle at our local store. 
Another notable characteristic of Brigette's old soul was her independence, to a point that we rarely knew what she was up to. She wrote stories and sent them off to publishers. We may have never been the wiser excepting for the fact that her rejection letters were addressed to a Lydia Steele. Who was this Lydia Steele? It was her pen name, of course. She also wrote a composition for a contest while riding on the school bus one day. She sent it in, won first place, and we had no idea until it was announced and printed in the Gainesville Sun's Sunday edition. Seeing as how we were not subscribers to the Gainesville Sun, we didn't actually even see it until several people at church brought us their copies. Brigette's excitement of winning was short lived however, being replaced with overall feelings of awkwardness and mortification as it was read over the pulpit. And to her disappointment, although winning 1st place, she did not win the Grand Prize of a trip to England. That prize went to a high school student. She received a $25 US Savings Bond.Driving. Now that is something that I don't recall in our parenting book. Driving is a category unto itself, and does not get easier with each child, nor does it ever become routine. Teaching your child to drive is a distinctly new and harrowing experience with each new endeavor. Parents cannot simply learn from the first experience, and then apply it to the next, that's not how it works, it's just one of the mysteries of life. You might think that after the State of Oregon has officially declared a driver "good-to-go", the unsettled feelings of terror would dissipate, but not so. Nothing compares to that first solo drive to Safeway to pick up some pickles. Minutes seemed like hours, as I waited for that phone call from the parking lot phone booth.
Brigette never saw the need to follow others, or to "fit in". Where was the fun in that? Appreciation for the classics was not limited to literature, but for music as well. She had a longing for music of an era long past, almost nostalgic in nature, as if recalling it fondly. Of course she knew a handful of current artists, enough to get by, but went out of her way to avoid current musical trends. Backstreet Boys and Brittany Spears? As if they could ever begin to compare to her favorite crooner, Bing Crosby. Not even open for debate. This isn't to say that Brigette didn't appreciate talent where talent was due. Paul Simon was right up there, so when high school graduation, complete with the accompanying all-night party was upon her, it brought with it, a dilemma. She took careful consideration when making the choice between that once in a lifetime party, or a Paul Simon concert at the Rose Garden. After choosing the aforementioned party, the bus of new 1999 graduates passed the Rose Garden en route to all night partying, and gave a hearty cheer to Paul Simon, in honor of Brigette's sacrifice. A lifetime is a long time however, and she has since been able to see Paul Simon not once, but twice in concert. Patience is indeed a virtue.Brigette was one of the first classes to participate in the IB program and as such, had the opportunity to receive a scholarship to the University of Oregon, quite an accomplishment! But memories of summer vacations spent at her Uncle Tim's in Bozeman led her heart in another direction. Brigette approached the idea of education more from an understanding that learning is ongoing and doesn't have to lead to a particular destination, like a degree or certificate. Sure, those things are great and
offer a sense of accomplishment, but the experience of learning something new and wonderful was her motivation. She applied for a scholarship to Montana State, and was determined to leave Oregon for her newest adventure. Living in Montana did gave her a completely different perspective on life for sure. She walked to work in Montana's dark sub-zero temperatures at 4:00 am before school to stock freezer shelves at a local Safeway. She went from playing her violin in the Metropolitan Youth Symphony in Portland to playing the fiddle and listening to country music. While there, she acquired an interest in insects as well, eventually leading to her hobby of beekeeping. She established newfound status as a liberal, for no other reason than she saw the value in recycling. Very progressive by Montana's standards. Her notion regarding education, learning, and school in general stayed with her. As a mother of two young boys, they enjoy a broad based and unstructured education as she home schools them, giving them opportunities to experience and learn about life without the limitations of a classroom, set hours, or a strict curriculum.One year while Christmas shopping, we were looking for interesting stocking stuffers. Among the trinkets, Scott picked up a small glass slipper and mentioned that he would slip it into Brigette's stocking with a note reading, "Someday your prince will come". As we headed toward our car, he ran back into the store quickly as if he'd forgotten something. He'd gotten another glass slipper, with the intention of keeping it in his jewelry box, until the day that a handsome young man would come to him, asking to marry his little girl. He would then present the young man with the matching glass slipper. While it was a wonderful idea, who in the world actually asks a girl's father for her hand in marriage? Brigette was old fashioned and all, but this seemed a bit much.
Brigette wasn't overly concerned with the whole dating scene, too much drama. Everything in its own good time, she'd know when it was right. First of all, she would never be interested in someone who would casually ask her if she just wanted to hang out. What's that? Now, if someone were to ask her if she'd like to go somewhere or do something in particular, something planned, that would be acceptable. He might even call during the week, just to verify their plans. He would also do something special, although she didn't quite know what it would be, but she'd know. Sounded like a pretty tall order, but this was our complex, perceptive, and overly sensible daughter. So, one summer day, Brigette was asked if she'd like to go hiking the following weekend. She told him that she would like that, and a date was made. A few days later he called, to confirm the plans. He brought a picnic lunch and among the various items in the basket, was a tiny individual jar of mayonnaise. Mayonnaise! That miniature jar of mayonnaise was that special something, and the rest, as they say, is history. And just for the record, he did ask Scott for Brigette's hand, so that extra glass slipper did come in handy after all.
Although perplexing at times, an "old soul" child is one of the greatest unexpected blessings life has to offer, not only because of their innate wisdom, but also because of the level-headed stability that they have to offer. Brigette was such a great big sister, whether being a good sport as Ike's wrestling partner stand-in or acting out musicals in the car with him as they passed the time on family road trips. She shared a room with her little sister and didn't mind a bit. Brigette shared stories from US History with Whitney as they repeated the Pledge of Allegiance on a nightly basis, and she made sure that they listened to different genres of music when it was time to go to sleep. Tom is thirteen years younger than Brigette, so they had a varied and changing relationship through the years. When he was little, and still called Tommy, she would take him to K-Mart to buy Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Today, that thirteen year age difference just doesn't seem that much. Time is funny that way.Brigette has grown into her old soul so naturally that unless you'd known her all along, you'd be unaware that her quirky old fashioned ways are simply who she is. Children born between the years 1977-1983 are known as Xennials. They are the few who were born on the cusp between Generation X and the Millennials. They are defined as those who had an analog childhood, but eased into the digital world during early adulthood. They are the fortunate few who truly have the best of both worlds. Brigette still prefers pen and stationary to impersonal email. Hand written letters express thoughts and feelings that can be held in your hand, to touch, feel, smell, and to read over and over. The disappearance of bookstores is a true travesty in Brigette's world. Amazon may one day rule the world, but it will never compare to leisurely meandering through rows and rows of what might seem to some, nothing more than paper. Paper filled with the ability to transform words into something magical. The mere presence of holding a book while curled up on a comfy sofa, turning actual pages, fills her with a hope that the world is not nearly as dull as it may seem at times.
The subtlety of Brigette's nature keeps her "under the radar" so to speak. Although she has an agenda all her own, she prefers to remain low-key in just about every aspect of her life. She most certainly fits the true definition of the traditional "Girl Next Door" in every way.
Happy Birthday Brigette!
Comments
Post a Comment